Wings to fly

The other day we were at a restaurant along with our toddler enjoying some delicious tomato basil soup with warm bread when the waitress came to check on us and the usual pleasantries followed. She then stuck a friendly conversation with our toddler and mentioned that she has 5 kids of her own but now all are grown up and left her house and they are on their own. Enjoy your toddler as much as you can for now she said as kids grow very fast and it feels empty after they leave. I nodded my head sympathetically; I could understand her feelings but struggled to find the right words.  

We as parents raise our children from helpless infants to young adults and in the process develop a deep sense of bonding and attachment to them. We nourish them, foster them, and teach them to be independent by giving them “wings to fly”. But once they leave it is as though a major part of our life is lost and leaves us an empty, void feeling. 

We are not like the birds, where the mother bird nourishes, protects her young ones only until they are able to fly. Once they fly the mother bird leaves the nest herself to seek other pursuits and the young ones are left to fend for themselves. She does not come back to an empty nest as we do. 


Bird
 

I immediately felt that wrenching knot in my stomach knowing that my time is not far off, as days and years pass by very fast. I will be facing that predicament soon even before I realize it. After brooding over it for a long time, I was stuck with realization. There were many incidents in my life for which I had no control on and neither did I plan it that way. But they all turned out for good and shaped the life that I have today. This particular incident is in the horizon and I have no control over it, but I have to face it and accept it. 

But there are other things for which I have control on, like my feelings, positive thinking, and outlook of life. I need to accept life as a carpe diem and relish it with each passing day without worrying about the future. I need to enjoy the beautiful moments with the kids, and other loved ones and learn to count on my blessings. 

I need to be strong and independent all the times realizing that my own parents have given me “wings to fly”. 

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10 comments

  1. Asha says:

    I have a daughter who will move out in a year to college although she will be in this state. I will miss her, bcos we are friends too.My son is 12, so I have 5-6 yrs left with him.
    In a way I am glad they will be independent, on their own managing life as they should.I hate to have the kids emotionally or in anyway dependent and clingy on us.
    We will be glad to support them achieving their in life,pick them when they fall if needed but that’s it! NOBODY is living in my basement when they are 40!;D
    Enjoy every moment,be a good parent first and then a buddy:))

  2. Mona says:

    Wow ! Very well written RC.. ! Made me think about how my parents raised me, brought me up.. and now i’m on my own, in my own world. Life’s like that. Some years later from now, it will be the same with me and my hubby, Our children will also fly off..
    Life looks difficult sometimes :-)

  3. ruchii says:

    Kids do grow up fast, I too have a 2 year old daughter and some times I feel excatly the way you feel, I bet its same for all parents.
    Its also the way we raise them teach them how to fly and show them the route and roots.. so they can always come back.That’s how I feel after comeing to US, always to go back where I belong.
    Nice write up….very much enjoyed reading it RC.

  4. Rina says:

    Well I’ve two little sons, a 3 year old and a toddler. I can’t even stand the thought of leaving them in a day care for a whole day. My hubby being a Pastor works from home so they enjoy every bit of him.

  5. redchillies says:

    I agree Jayashree, that is the right thing to do.

    Thanks. I agree there too Mona. It is like our “gijar ka tukdaa” is gone after they leave.

    Thanks so much Madhu. I am glad I am not alone.

    Rina, right there with you. It is very painful for me when I drop my 2 year old to the daycare.

  6. lakshmi says:

    Very well written post.

    On another note, do you how many times amma and I speak over the phone? And now that she’s become internet savvy and with this food blogging business, we seem to be interacting a lot more and on a different level than when I was at home :D.

  7. saaki says:

    i dunno..what evry1 is gonna make of this..but

    i think letting go is an important phase of life…i moved out of home for college 5 years ago…i still feel strange at times..hollow on the inside….that an entire phase of my life is over and its unnerving….

    as u said..one cannot control many aspects of our lives…
    but what we can do…is to lead our lives in such a way..that wen u turn back and look at ur life at say 50-60 ..u say yep i made a few good decisions and a few rotten ones…
    and finally evrything turned out fine….

    as they say” Life is a lesson, u learnt it once ur through.”

    ciao..

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